What am I doing?

I must have gone mad … lost my mind … had a major moment of weakness … blanked out … I’m not sure what happened, but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to do an 11km trail walk.

No I can hear some of you thinking “11km trail walk, that’s not so bad, what’s she worried about?”.  Well … it’s not just a casual “let’s go for a walk” trail walk, it’s an organised, part of a big event, trail walk.  I’m talking pay to enter, get a big number to pin on your shirt, lots of other people doing it to trail walk.  I mean, come on, pay someone so I can do an 11km trail walk, I’m nuts …. right?

My only consolation is I have friends on this walk.  Unlike the triathlon, where no one was brave enough to do it with me (or stupid enough depending on how you look at it), the lovely Laura and he sister have also had moments of madness and decided that 11km sounds like a nice length for a Saturday stroll … oh and while we’re at it let’s pay someone to let us do it.

My dread is brought on by a number of things;

1)  I HATE WALKING … or running.  Of the triathlon disciplines it is by far my worst.  I suck at it, I’m slow and can’t seem to get faster (even my attempt at jogging is ridiculously slow, almost slower than my snail paced walk).  I bang my head against a wall just thinking about it.  I love the idea of going for a walk, or ultimately being able to go for a run, it just doesn’t happen.  All these months and I see improvement on the bike (have I mentioned before how much I love my bike?) but walk/running?  Nope!  Nothing!  Zip!  Grrrrr walking is my nemesis 😦  “Old fat Kelly” is sitting in her corner telling me that it’s because I’m too fat, which I’ll admit is probably part of the reason.  But, I know to reach my goals I need to work on it … doesn’t mean I think an 11km trail walk is a good idea though.

2)  I’ve done next to no exercise in the last … let’s be honest here … probably month.  I’ve slacked right off.  Ignored the fact that I agreed to do this walk and coasted.  Triathlon over, weather is changing, getting darker and darker in the mornings (the time of day I do most of my training),  I totally lost my motivation mojo.  Now I’m here, 4 days out, and I’ve done zip to prepare.  I hope Laura is prepared to drag my butt around.

3)  The slump.  That is what I’m calling this time period in my journey.  I’ve strayed off track and just got myself into a state of blah.  Life has just been blah.  I let this blog slip, I let the exercise slip, I’ve let the eating slip, I’ve let my motivation slip, I’ve kind of let everything slip while I coasted through life.  But I didn’t regress back into full on “old fat Kelly” mode, so it’s just a slump and I’m ready to get over it.

4)  “Old fat Kelly” … that is all … does she need any further explanation?  She’s THE reason for everything really.  The lazy, negative, good for nothing version of myself working constantly to bring down everything I’m working so hard to achieve.  The sad thing is … lately she’s been winning and I’ve been letting her.

So my conclusion … I’m nut’s!  I hate walking but have agreed to do an 11km trail walk.  I’ve been in a slump, let my exercise slip to practically non-existent, and completely ignored this looming hurdle.  But, I’ll do it.  I’ll get off my butt and do the dam 11km trail walk on Saturday.  Why? … because if I don’t “old fat Kelly” wins and I hate when she wins.

Now I know I’ve used this picture before, but I love it and it fits so well at this time here it is again.  It’s my story summed up 🙂